I am currently involved in studying the twelve steps of the anonymous programs, which I believe is the tool of Moshiach ben Yosef, something that Hashem has brought down in order to get us into the age of Moshiach, when ego becomes a thing of the past. My chevrusa, who has been in the program for over ten years, is doing a wonderful job of guiding me through the steps, patiently teaching me. It is a wonderful, rigorous project, which I believe anyone can do, and everyone should explore to see how it can benefit them. There are programs for people with challenges in relationships, for emotional issues, debting issues, lack of vision and direction, porn addiction, sex addiction, and of course, alcoholism, amongst many others. It is interesting that one can be addicted to thoughts of avoiding all of these issues – if there is emotional energy around something, it is a sign of addiction. There is a wonderful aspect of community and acceptance that comes along with a true goal for pure egolessness. It is extremely powerful and the concept of pure lishmah is magnetic for me.
In any event, I am sharing this because I wanted to share something with you that my chevrusa shared with me. I have been talking about the difficult times we are going through now, and the potential for rectification that will follow the down. In order to get through the down, it is important to have the right attitude about the down, to understand that everything that happens to us is from Hashem. This means that sometimes we will even experience a test or challenge, and we will fall in that challenge – but it won’t be because we were meant to pass the challenge. It will be because we get upset at ourselves for having failed in that challenge. This guilt is a most destructive force that can literally ruin our lives. The following is a link to an incredible shiur on the topic, given by R’ Yisroel Reisman, based on the works of the Steipler Gaon. It is all about realizing the reality of our nisyonos (tests), and realizing that there are many areas where we may fail, and that we must be realistic about what is within our free will ability, and what is outside of it.
I highly recommend this wonderful shiur: